The Countdown!

I just want to document what is going on in my body at this point.  I sure hope it does not come across as complaining.  I would do this all over again in a heartbeat, because this too shall pass.

I am counting down the 2-4 weeks left of PIO shots.  After the placenta takes over making its own hormones, we won't need these shots and pills anymore.  This happens anywhere from 10-12 weeks of pregnancy.  I am so hoping to be in the 10 week category, but not likely.  The reason?  My rear end is sooo sore!  I have a hard time walking and sitting and sleeping and crossing my legs some days.  It is so weird that my body responds differently some days than others.  I will have some really good days that everything seems to be healing, and I just need to stretch the muscles out almost like physical therapy to give it the old range of motion.  Other days I can barely move or sit without wincing.  It is funny because my husband will tease me when I am wincing or ouching and say "I thought you weren't going to complain about being pregnant." ;-)  I reply, "I am not, I am only complaining about the shots.  Most pregnancies don't involve this aspect." =) 

I will have to say on the plus side, my 6 pm shot gets my husband home "earlier" from his major project going on at work.  He leaves at 6 am for work and is working overtime to get everything done (because he is supposed to be home by 4:30.)  He uses my shot as an excuse to wrap things up and get home by 6 pm.  I will be so glad when he should be back on a normal schedule next month.  I will be also thankful when we don't have to wake up at 6 am for a shot on Saturday when we could be sleeping in a little. =)

Well, I have also noticed that anything heavily seasoned with garlic does not agree with me being pregnant.  In the last couple weeks, I have correlated certain garlic meals with feeling very blah and sick to my stomach the whole next day.  Garlic is sooo yummy, but I guess I will be staying away for the next few years (breastfeeding too).  I have been very tired of course the last few weeks.  If I am not too busy, I will lay down for an afternoon nap and wake up 2 hours later!  And then sleep fine that night.  It still baffles me how much the growing life drains you.  Normally naps would just keep me up late at night (being a night person anyway).  I am having the slight waves of nausea, but just eat a little snack and it helps it subside.  The other weird symptom is the lack of foods that sound good. =)  I am usually the kind of person that eats whatever whenever.  My husband says food is fuel to me, and I don't "enjoy" it.  He is right for the most part.  But right now I am having to adjust to eating or making what sounds good, since that seems to satisfy and make me feel good.  If I ignore the feeling and eat whatever, I feel sick to my stomach later.  So weird!  Thankfully everything I crave is fairly healthy still.  My taco soup/stew hit the spot last night. =)  My love for sweets is still gone with this pregnancy.

Well, as far a belly growth, I have definitely been having to leave my jeans/pants unbuttoned more regularly.  I know it is mostly bloat, especially in the evenings, but it is starting more and more now in the mornings.  I will have to say most of my clothes are fitted without much give.  I love the hair tie idea my SIL gave me.  You loop the stretchy elastic hair tie through the button hole and then around the button.  It gives you some stretch with sitting and holds it together some when standing.  And most have no idea when your shirt covers it. =)  I have a bella band to use, but I don't think I need that yet.  My good friend was nice enough to lend me her maternity clothes.  Three bins full!  Thankfully we are somewhat the same size.  My SIL might have a few things for me too, but I am a little smaller size...but you never know, I might be one that gains a lot of pregnancy weight whether I want to or not.  I also have picked up a few things off the clearance racks.  Right now the season I will need the full blown pregnancy clothes in is the spring/summer and those are the ones on clearance right now.  I have gotten some nice things for dirt cheap!  Hopefully they will fit later...if not I will just sell them on e.b.ay NWT. =)

I think that updates everything going on with me pregnancy wise.  I have been babysitting a lot lately, and have a special appreciation to those moms out there that are pregnant and have the tiredness while dealing with their kids.  I usually enjoy every minute with my favorite little ones, but the exhaustion really does put a damper on the "fun". =)

We are looking foward to seeing our little one again next Friday.  At nine weeks, it should look like a dancing gummy bear. =)  So cute!  Thank you God for allowing us to be on this journey.

Precious Gift from God

I was waiting for the call from the NEDC today in order to post everything, but I guess they did not receive the lab work or ultrasound in time.
It was exciting to see everything today. I guess it was obvious because the u/s tech said to my husband, "She is so excited!" And then she asked me if I slept at all last night. =) Yep, I sure did, up until my 3 AM pee and then I tossed and turned the remaining 3 hours until my morning shot. =)

I was kind of frustrated that my OB/GYN office somehow lost the work order for treatment that was faxed to them just a week ago. So everyone was asking me what was needed. I wish that I had it to hand to them like the last few times. The lab had to request a new order be faxed to figure out what the blood draws were for. Everything worked out in the end. I was just glad that my husband was off work today to be there and keep me company during the waiting around.

Okay, onto the important information everyone really wants to know. =) Well, much to our disappointment we lost one snowflake. I guess were wanting them both to survive so badly that we didn't realize how much we would be let down when we only saw one. Don't get me wrong, we are SOOO grateful for the healthy baby growing. I guess we both didn't realize how attached we had gotten to both of them. But I am happy to say that despite the loss of "Mo", "Eski" is measuring at 6wks & 1d with a heart beat of 110 bpm. It was so cool to hear the heart beat and see it beating with the assistance of the computer highlighted red area.
I have been reading a "coffee table" picture library book on the daily growth and development of the baby. So it was neat to see the shape and parts of the baby on the ultrasound match the pictures in the book. (What "detail" you can see on a grainy u/s zoomed in that far.)

Highlighted circle in middle of baby is the heart beating.



Meet Eski!

As far as symptoms are concerned, I was a little worried the last few days because they seemed to be tapering off.  My main ones, besides the gassiness and frequent bathroom trips, were feeling tired (like in a fog) and hungry every two hours or so.  And I had to eat a snack, or I would get a little shaky.  (I lost two pounds since my transfer on top of eating more.)  The last few days I have still felt tired, but I think I am just getting used to the feeling.  Now, I don't have to snack as much, though I am still very thirsty a lot.  I am wondering if this is a transition to sickness or just my body acclimating to everything and I don't need as many calories now.  (Blood volume has increased, placenta is in place and forming, hormones are rising but not new to my body anymore.)  I have had a minute or two, once or twice with a wave of nausea and think oh yay a sign everything is good.  But then I am fine.  It is funny, I keep telling myself enjoy this time because you will wish you did when the sickness comes.  On a side note, my mother had no, I mean no nausea or morning sickness with all three of us.  She had easy pregnancies and fast labors!  I am sooo hoping I inherited that from her.  She is the pregnant mother of that 20% group with no nausea that the other 80% envy and hate.

We are so grateful to God and our donors for this precious gift of life. I can't wait to see what is to come.

Vivid Pregnancy Dreams

I have had some interesting dreams lately, which from what I understand is normal for pregnancy from the hormones.  Last night I had the most interesting one that I have to share.  I was dreaming about getting my ultrasound (that is coming in 3 days, yay!).  The tech was doing the looking around and was passing numerous little sacs.  He or she (don't remember) would pause on each one to see the heartbeat flicker, which was cool (granted I have never seen one in real life).  I was thinking that the tech kept going back to the previous ones and check because he did it a number of times.  Then he left without saying a word to go get Dr. Kee.nan. (Which by the way is interesting because he won't be present at any of my u/s checks being 6 hours away- that I know of anyway.)  The Dr. came in and proceeded to tell us that we are pregnant with 5 babies with heartbeats!  LOL!  I was like, how can that happen from 2 embryos?  And he said that one split to triplets and the other to twins.  My husband was almost passed out at this point. Ha ha!  But, the kicker is that he told us that he thought they all wouldn't survive because of vanishing twin syndrome, and we would likely end up with just triplets.  Wow!  This dream was so real, it was hilarious.  I was thinking in my dream that I was one short of Jo.n & K.ate + 8 and that I would become HUGE! 

My last part of the dream was, before I woke up for a 3 AM bladder emptying, I told the Dr. about my friend from church.  Now this part is real life...I have a middle-aged lady at church that is a big prayer warrior and has adopted 2 of her kids in the past (teenagers now).  When she heard about us doing EA she said she was going to pray for twins for us.  I was thinking cool.  Well, a couple weeks later she told me that she was praying in a grocery parking lot one day for us and the "twins" and heard a voice from God tell her that it was going to be triplets!  So for the last 6 months or so that has been the running joke.  I asked her if she wasn't sure that it meant that I would be carrying 3 embryos and then not all of them survive to pregnancy.  But she said no, it was the same experience she had when another couple in our church was adopting traditionally.  She heard from God they were going to adopt twins.  But the mother said that was impossible because the baby boy they were getting was only a single baby....but 3 months later they were chosen to adopt a little baby girl, too.  So the unrelated boy and girl are only 3 months apart, thus almost twins.

So, I am only thinking I am carrying two babies right now, possibly one.  But Tonie is adamant that it is three.  I will be grateful for whatever God decides to bless us with, just a little more scary when you get past two.  We shall see in a few days....

2nd Beta

849!! Our HCG number has more than doubled at almost exactly 48 hours. We are praising God from whom all blessings flow!  Ultrasound dates are going to be at 6 weeks or Oct. 15th and at 9 weeks or Nov. 5th.

May I be honest right now?  I am more than happy about our pregnancy, but my heart is still hurting for all those that have had negative betas or their period to arrive again.  I feel like I shouldn't be on this side of the fence or "cottage" as Lacie so eloquently puts it.  I have been infertile for 5 1/2 years of trying.  I thought I would never get to experience a pregnancy.  I am so grateful for the gift of life we have been given by God and by the donors.  I am going to do my best to enjoy every day of this pregnancy and not worry (extremely hard to not do).  I feel so humbled and inadequate.  I pray we will be used for God's glory.

Don't skip steps

I just wanted to post that on Monday morning when my hubby was giving me my PIO shot, he actually hit a blood vessel.  You are supposed to pull back on the syringe to make sure you are in muscle and haven't hit a vessel.  Well, after doing it a million times, you are tempted to skip or forget that step.  But like a good shot giver he always does it.  Well...we actually had it happen where he pulled blood back in to the syringe.  It freaked him out!  You hate that you have to waste that whole syringe full and needle, but best to do everything right.  I am so blessed to have such a committed "murse" as my husband calls himself (male nurse--if you haven't seen it on S.crubs).  I have, to date, only had to give myself 3 shots.  Here's to hoping for 8 more weeks of shots... (waiting patiently =) for the next beta call).

Update: Almost exactly a week later it has happened again!  I am guessing with the increased blood volume of pregnancy and on top of that I am a very "veiny" person (the phlebotomists love me to give blood. =)) that I am at a higher risk for these?  It kills my frugalista side that we have to throw everything out and start over. But hey, such is life.

Update again couple weeks later:  We have had numerous and I mean numerous shots hitting blood vessels.  We have gotten so good at keeping the needle pointing to the ground so that the blood doesn't mix with the oil and then you can change needles without losing much/any of the medicine.  I guess I am just one veiny girl...

And the verdict is....

330!!! 
Wow, words cannot express how elated I am!  I am crawling out of my skin and my stomach is doing gymnastics!  I am pregnant for the first time in my life.  At least now I have an excuse for being so tired and blah. =)
Thank You, God for an amazing blessing of carrying Your miracles, even if it is just for a short while.  I would be honored to be able to hold one in 9 months.  I continue to give You my life to use as You see fit.

Have Your Way!

We sang this song in church this morning, and it has always been one of my favorites.  But this morning, it had an all new meaning with my beta coming up tomorrow.  I just love how it expresses my hearts desire.

Also, another of my wall hangings that I love as a reminder.  No matter what answer we receive tomorrow from my beta, no matter what emotions I will be feeling, I will try to remember that God's answers are wiser than our prayers.

On a more optimistic note, I have been feeling a lot of symptoms that lead me to believe I am pregnant.  I have been more tired lately and very shaky and weak if I don't eat small snacks regularly.  I have never been pregnant, so I don't know what to feel, but....the following has left me optimistic...




9DP5DT

I had two $ store HPTs on hand and couldn't resist the urge to test.  Since some were getting BFPs online  at 6dp5dt, I tested on Tuesday.  It resulted in a BFN and I knew it was too early.  I also looked at it later that day and there was nothing there.  Well, then I decided to use the other one on 9dp5dt (Friday) being a full 14 dpo or the day a "period would be missed".  After the quick movement across, I didn't see anything so I was bummed and threw it way.  (Honestly, in my five years of infertility, I didn't test much knowing it was a waste of money since I RARELY went a day past the normal 28 day cycle.  So I don't have much experience with these things.)  Well, a couple hours later, before I headed off to work, I decided to pull it out of the trash to look at it one more time.  And I saw this...there was a light line at the T.  I was cautiously optimistic, although I had heard of evaporation lines.  So I decided to pick up some FRER tests while was I getting groceries that day. (By the way there is a $2 off coupon for them on their website.)

So on Saturday or 10dp5dt, when I woke up at the typical (as of lately) 5am bladder elimination, I tested again.  And this is what I got...


10DP5DT

 Little did I realize until I did some Goo.gling later that morning that a faint positive is a BFP.  So hubby and I are still cautiously optimistic, but looking forward to our beta tomorrow. God's answers are wiser than our prayers...

Lookee, what I got! =)

I am a little delayed posting this weekend due to being so busy!  I am not complaining because it has made my wait time fly by faster.  You can't beat a weekend spent with family.  Friday we spent a fun evening with my in laws and the two cutest nephews ever!  They are two years old and 3 months old.  Then Saturday we went to my cousin's wedding.  I feel so old because he is 7-8 years younger than me and always been a little cousin in my mind.  It was a beautiful wedding and the food was amazing!  Then we hung out with my brother and sis in law and got to see their professional wedding pics from their wedding at the end of July.  This weekend was a good reminder why we want to have children.  It was great experiencing the fun of family spending good times together.

Okay on to the reason for this post...Lookee what I got on Friday to peruse during my wait!  Ashley was so kind to send me the Baby Games book that has been chosen as a distraction with fun comments throughout by other fellow EA bloggers.  Check out Lacie's blog to find out more... http://funnylittlepollywogs.com/?p=911. 

It is actually a really cute book, I am looking forward to doing more than flipping through it quickly.  Can I say again how much I enjoy being a part of this EA group?

Finally, one last lookee here...=)  Thanks to Ashley, I received a "One Lovely Blog Award"!  I appreciate the honor. ;-).  I will have to say that I will not be nominating anyone because honestly I follow the same blogs as the other girls and don't want keep giving out a duplicate award.  But everyone that has been nominated has definitely deserved the lovely blog awards, but more than that they deserve the lovely person award.  I am amazed by the optimism and trust in God everyone has kept through the infertility world.  Not many outsiders understand the hurt and pain involved in struggling to start or add to their family.  The awesome part is that they don't allow bitterness to rule their lives but to give God the glory and control of their lives.  I love that!