Brynna's Birth Story

I guess I should get this typed up before too late.  =P  I am very detailed and wordy, but I don't want to forget anything.  I looked back and I posted Sydney's birth story on 9/18/11.  Talk about freaky timing since today (the day I started this) is 9/19!  I suppose for me with a newborn, life doesn't settle down, and I don't feel clear headed enough to write this out until my baby is 3 months old...  (Not to mention my 2 year old is on a nap strike these days.  Last two molars coming in and teething will be over for good!  I sure hope Brynna handles teething better than her sister did.)

About 36 weeks along, I started having some pretty intense Braxton hicks contractions off and on. I was encouraged because they weren't this strong with Sydney until 41 weeks. At each of my midwife visits they would check me and said I was about 1 cm dilated, but they could feel the head she was so low. I thought for sure all those contractions were getting me somewhere. When my due date came and went I was so discouraged just knowing that this time was going to be the same, and I wouldn't go into labor again.  The midwives had me taking evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf tea trying to put my body into gear. (I was using a midwife practice this time because my home birth midwife (L) had experiences of women with no labor once, most likely no labor again. She wanted me established somewhere to allow me to get the best care post term since they would know how healthy the baby and I was and would allow me to go past my due date like I would want.) 

On Monday (6/10/13) at 40 weeks 3 days, I went in for a non stress test just to check on the baby. I had started some minor contractions that morning which was different considering they usually picked up by evening and were gone in the morning. While there at the office the nurse was surprised to see on the monitor that I had a few contractions.  But I assured her this was completely normal for the last 4 weeks!  I was very pleased to know that Brynna was doing great, but very discouraged to still be pregnant.  I knew full well that it was still early, but refused to get my hopes up. I didn't want to be let down that I wasn't going to get my VBAC.  Everyone I knew was praying for me to go into labor this time, but I kept just asking God's will to be done and a healthy outcome.  Then my sis-in-law innocently texted me a verse that said, "With prayers and thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." God prompted my heart to ask Him for what I really wanted (experience labor and delivery).  I guess He was just waiting for me to ask with faith, but with a grateful heart no matter the outcome.  

Throughout that Monday the contractions slowly picked up off and on.  After dinner I was cleaning up the kitchen when I felt that odd sensation I kept reading about: that you just know something is changing.  I had a huge burst of nesting and scrubbed the kitchen down, folded laundry, and straightened up the house. So weird because I was usually exhausted by night after caring for my almost two year old all day.  (Who I potty trained while 8 months pregnant, then had to taker her potty endlessly while hugely pregnant.  It was the craziest but best decision I made.  Maybe that is what started up labor, lifting her and pulling up underwear all day. ;) )  The contractions were getting stronger so I decided to shower at 11:00 at night, positive that I was starting labor. I went to bed at midnight, but could not sleep due to the contractions not letting up when I laid down.  I got up a few times with the intenseness, excited that something was happening.  I was sure with them 5-10 minutes apart I would be having the baby soon.  I did not wake my husband to let him sleep as long as possible. By 3 am they were still uncomfortable but not too painful so I tried to get some sleep.  I slept fitfully until 5 am when my hubby gets up for work.  The contractions had not stopped! He had no idea I was having them all night and asked me if he should go to work.  I had no idea...  So I asked him to stay home, if to do anything but help with Sydney. 

So now it is Tuesday and I was still having the intense, stop what your doing to notice contractions every 5-10 minutes.  What also clued me in that was different with these was the massive amounts of bloody show I was getting,  I knew something was finally happening!  Although I could still talk through them just fine,  I warned my mom to be ready to come care for Syd at some point.  So throughout the day they slowly, every so slowly started to get stronger and more intense,  I tried to nap a few times because I was so tired, but I could only rest in between contractions for an hour or so before I would have to get up from being so uncomfortable. By that night I was annoyed that this was taking so long, but still encouraged something was happening.  The contractions had started to get stronger to the point of pain that I tried to sleep for an hour or two, but had to get up.  I tried using the app to time the contractions like I had been before, but couldn't concentrate on when to start and stop the timer.  It was then I knew I really was in labor.  But to my surprise everything was intense but not as painful as I expected up to this point.  I texted L, my previous midwife, who volunteered to be at this birth as my doula of sorts since we totally missed out the first time with my c-section.  I was still torn as to when you decide to go to the hospital.  I didn't want to go too late and be miserable in the car, but not too early that the hospital is timing me (especially being a VBAC).  L asked a few key questions and then said how exciting this was and that it sounded like real labor had started.  So I texted my mom to come to stay with Syd and woke up my husband.  It was about midnight now.  After my mom arrived and few more seriously intense contractions I felt it was time to leave for the hospital.  We arrived there about 1:30 am and checked in.

It is now Wednesday early morning, and I had not slept more than a few fitful hours in 48 hours.  I was excited this was happening, but very tired and ready for it to be over.  Brynna was registering awesome on the monitor during my contractions.  Praise God!  Sydney not tolerating the contractions is what warranted my previous c-section, although that was another 2 weeks past my due date with her.  My dilation was checked, and I was 4 cm.  Yay, progress but not yet far enough to get a labor and delivery room.  At this point I found with help of L that one leg up on a chair and lunging during a contraction really seemed to help ease the back pain I was having.  I continued to do this method the entire time I was laboring.  Also a rice heating bag on my back felt AMAZING!  When it got cold, the pain got more intense.  Thanks to my awesome helpers, L and my hubby, they kept running to the break room to heat it back up in the microwave the whole time I was in labor...

An hour later the nurse returned to offer to check my dilation.  If I was progressing I could get a room, but I could choose to wait in the tiny room we were in.  I chose to check because I was feeling Brynna getting lower with more pressure.  I had progressed to 7 cm at that point!  I guess for me being where I needed to be helped me relax and get things moving.  They moved me over to my room.  I was just so pleased that up to this point the pain was very tolerable, and I was not even wanting an epidural.  My goal was a med free, natural delivery.

Now the timeline of everything gets a little fuzzy for me.  =)  I just know I was hungry and could only eat jello or broth (clear liquids) in case of another surgery.  I was tired but could only rest for a few contractions because laying down was just too painful.  I was shocked how I could sleep like that though!  But each time I felt I was too exhausted to continue, a power nap would revive me.  I tried the shower at one point for a change of pace. But the best position for me was one leg up on a chair.  Thus I didn't think the water tub they offered would be much help. I especially didn't want to make them set it up and then not use it. What I found fascinating is how time flew by.  What felt like an hour would actually be three or so. 

I felt a trickle of something at one point and it was confirmed that my water had broken. E broke it completely in order to allow the head to rest more on the cervix. By the afternoon, I was checked to be 9.5 cm.  Yay!  I was so relieved thinking I was almost done.  The midwife said that there was just an anterior lip stuck on her head. 

Thankfully Brynna's heart was staying steady as a metronome.  I labored a few more hours, and the lip of the cervix didn't budge.  We tried different positions and angles, nothing was working.  The midwife (E) tried "pushing" it away during a contraction to no avail.  At this point she could feel that my contractions were weakening and slowing down due to my body's exhaustion.  I was feeling discouraged at this point and didn't think I could go on much longer.  I  was literally lunging on a chair still with every contraction.  E suggested that I get a slow pitocin drip to augment and strengthen my contractions to help since we were so close.  I did not want to do this.  I felt then my natural delivery was doomed.  I was worried the contractions would get too intense with the pit, and I wouldn't be able to tolerate them.

Very stubbornly I labored for what felt like a half an hour determined to push past that last lip before I consented to the pit. I eventually realized that if I continued on in my tired state they would soon start suggesting a c-section, which was my primary goal to avoid again. My hubby told me later that it was a few more hours before I consented!  

Let me just say how the providence of God allowed me to have the best midwife on call that day!  She was the most lenient, down to earth, natural one I could have gotten from my midwife practice. Later I found out that the on call OB who was overseeing everything was mentioning that I better be done by the time she was back on shift. E did not tell me or let on that I was "on the clock" being a VBAC. 

With the help of the pitocin, which turns out was not bad at all since I just needed a small dose already being in labor, my contractions started to pick back up again. After a little while E came back in to try to assist in pushing back that last little bit of cervix. When she did my tone changed from a medium groan to a low guttural intensity that was so instinctive. It was funny because most of the time I kept asking and wondering how they would know if I was fully dilated without constantly checking. Both midwives just kept telling me, "Oh, we'll know!" Now I know what they meant. The entire room immediately went into a frenzied pace getting ready for me to push and deliver the baby. 

By this point, I was so done but knew the real work was coming up! Thankfully God programs a little break in our bodies from the contractions at this point, and I was able to rest a little.  Brynna was still doing great on the monitor! Honestly her steady heart beat is what encouraged me on most of the time. So with the coaching of both L and E, I started pushing. Unlike what I read, I did not feel the urge to push at all!  I had to make myself work with the contractions and follow their instructions and give it all I had. Their encouragement was awesome, as well as my hubby. I kept telling myself this is the end, just get her out and you are done, FINALLY. So I pushed through the pain. Everything up to this point was not too bad. Pushing was where I discovered the curse of child birthing from the sin of Adam and Eve. ;) 

At this time I had completely internalized. After what felt like forever, Brynna finally made her entrance at 7:30 pm!  (Later I was told that I only pushed for 45 minutes. Which they said was amazing for a first time and how big my baby was.)  I could not believe I had done it. E was commenting that she was a giant and heavy baby. Which I knew, she felt just as big as Sydney was in there. I was able to hold her for about a minute, but she was not breathing very well. Hubby cut the cord after it stopped pulsing and they handed her over to the nurses to suction her out. They suspected that she must have aspirated meconium do to her labored breathing. There was just a bit of it behind her as she was being born. They weighed her at 10 lbs exactly and she was 22.5 inches long. They then took her to the NICU for more treatment and oxygen.

Born 6/12/13~~10 pounds~~22.5 inches

I was so grateful I had finally delivered naturally, but was so disappointed to not have that hour they promise at the end to snuggle your reward for all that hard work!  I then had to be stitched up by a surgical doctor for a vaginal tear and a third degree partial tear with only a local anesthetic. Ten pound babies leave their mark. ;)  That itself was almost worse than the pushing. I also had a nasty case of hemherroids. At this point I literally could not hold my eyes open or even move my arms. I have never been so exhausted in my life!!! I could only describe it like I had been hit by a Mac truck. My eyes and face were covered in broken blood vessels and my lip was bleeding from biting it.  

I was moved to the mother baby room and finally took a nap. After only an hour or so, I started regaining some of my strength. I even felt much better after eating a meal.  Yay for solid meals after birth!  None of that liquid-diet-after-surgery stuff. ;o)  Without going into crazy detail here, I was asked to empty my bladder. I did my best to move around but I was so weak I kept almost fainting I was so tired. I was so swollen that after numerous tries and hours the nurses finally placed a catheter to give me relief. They told me I had the biggest bladder they have ever seen when they emptied it. I was told that many times over the next day or so that I was wearing the Foley. (Now it makes sense to me why the full bladder embryo transfers don't bother me as much as other women I read about.)

After giving birth I was seriously wondering if healing was really going to be better than a c-section.  But it was amazing to me how quickly your body bounces back when surgery and incisions are not involved!  I still had a lot of healing from the tears and such and that was not fun sitting.  But walking around was possible the next day or so!  And I was able to care for myself for the most part by the third day because my hubby had to go home to care for Sydney.  That was not even close to being possible after my c-section...

Sadly, I was so experienced with having a baby in the NICU I knew what I needed to do. I asked for the pump and started the ritual about five hours after delivery of pumping every 2-3 hours to bring in my milk.  The next few days entailed the normal ritual of pumping, washing pump parts, eating, walking across the hospital to the NICU to visit Brynna, visiting with family visitors, repeat...  Napping was not even possible as much as I really wanted to.

(To be continued...)